Mike Says Meh|The blog of Mike Kauspedas | Hosting by www.gearhost.com

Last week on Thursday I chopped a bit of my finger tip off. Maybe I should back up. For a while now I’ve been more and more interested in cooking and every other month I take a stab at it. My most recent stab was some pan seared grouper with a mango salsa. In my forays into cooking I bought a decent set of knives that included a chef’s knife. I had the chef’s knife out and was going to town on some roasted peppers and went right through the tip of my left ring finger.

My immediate reaction was to curse and shake my hand. It felt like I jammed it, not like I’d cut it. Shaking it spurt blood all over the kitchen. I realized I cut it pretty deep so I ran it under some water which hurt more and made me realize some of it was gone. That’s when my wife Grace lost it. I stayed pretty calm and told her to find me a towel or something and I flung it on and applied pressure. Then Grace rushed me to the emergency room with me telling her to slow down because I wasn’t in mortal danger.

We ended up at Denver Health downtown, the closest hospital. I waited 5 hours in the trauma ward (no joke, trauma) and after they stopped rushing people in from motorcycle accidents and assaults I finally asked someone if they could stitch my finger up. The stitching and cleaning was the worst part. I’ve never felt that burn before, holy f’n shit did it hurt. The nurse gave me some pretty painful numbing shots and before waiting for it to get number she started cleaning it. And all she did was squirt some sterile water on it. Albeit on my open finger tip. She finally stopped and left with a hellish cackle so her boss could come and try to cause more pain. haha! The finger was numb.

In between all this I realized I don’t like the inside of my finger. At one point I was sitting in the nurses office answering questions and all of a sudden I got queasy and then almost fainted. I had no idea how to handle it. I just said, “I feel faint.” And then I couldn’t see shit and the nurse told me to put my head between my legs because I was a big pussy. I did it one more time when the doc was stitching me but I had enough control to make it through. She gave me some bs about my heart rate lowering and no oxygen to the brain but I what she really meant was I was a dickless excuse for a man and shouldn’t have even come to the emergency room. Then she spat in my open wound.

Hey, how about some pictures?

All cleaned and full of burning

the bit I cut off

stitched

Bandaged up